Raphi - Foolin'
(from the album Cali Quake)
© copyright 2002
Staring off in space with a blank look on my face.
The taste on my kisser has grown bitter from a little bit of unwanted change.
It's funny how time will fly then rearrange.
It never seems to look or feel the same.
Conceal the pain and crack jokes.
I'm used to being the comedian. You'll see me in the spot laughing.
But inside, that's not happening.
It's cool as long as no one knows that I'm slowly crashing.
It's everything like something ain't quite right.
Stuff that used to get me hype is now boring.
It all feels foreign pour some more in cuz I'm rolling on empty.
On the grind, quick fill up.
Hoping nobody can see that I'm hangin' on.
But my arms ain't as strong as they used to be.
So I put on a happy face and walk in the door.
Play the roll like I have it all under control.
I tell myself "they don't know" but.
Who am I foolin'? There's only so much I can juggle.
A new day, a new struggle.
Are they too blind to see that I'm losing my mind?
Tell me, who am I foolin'? Because it ain't me.
Are they too blind to see?
Laying awake alone at home.
Sinking back ina zone where I can postpone thinking about who I'm without.
Racking my brain and going insane.
This life is full of shackles and pain.
She was the one who freed me. She used to need me.
Indeed, we sure had something worth fighting for.
I guess she got tired of the war.
She rose the white flag and marched out the door.
I got burned again. Wondering what I met her for.
She said a metaphor talkin' 'bout "love's a chore."
Well, if it's punishment, keep it. I'm done with it.
Whey even have a heart? They'll steal it and run with it
Then toss it when they're done having their fun with it.
Plus, if I didn't lover her, then I could recover quick.
But that ain't the case. I made the same mistakes.
I'm cool on love. I guess I've got to be a thug.
Who am I foolin'? That ain't me.
I can't be no O.G. I'm just an emcee.
I guess I'm too blind to see what it takes to keep the tight ones.
Who am I foolin'?
Even when you come real it's like they're too blind to see.
So I'm still lonely.
Some say that all work and no play will turn blue skies gray.
So I pray that my soul don't turn charcoal.
I'm in the midst of a feud losing control.
Choosing to go down the low road.
Now, I'm bruised and I know how some can stop believing
In things unseen in the maze.
All the while, days get shorter and nights get longer.
Even your biggest supporters say,
"You're wrong to keep on the path in which you learned your craft."
Think I'm gon' slow up? Naw, it's time to grow up. Why?
I'm trying to blow up. Hold up!
Man I feel like I'm gon' throw up and fold.
But they say it's part of the game.
The loss and gain, getting tossed in the rain.
Every year it's the same. Going against the grain.
So I guess I'm the one to blame. But I'm sayin'.
Wo am I foolin'? Try and show a little muscle.
New day. I gotta hustle.
Are they too blind to see that you need peace of mind?
Tell me, who am I foolin'?
I got skills but most are too blind to see.