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Glue - Vessel
(from the album Catch as Catch Can)
© copyright 2006

First thing I remember brings me 25 years back,
Overcast morning, the kind that almost looks fake,
First thing I saw was white walls, and bright light bulbs,
Blurry pictures and hands holding cans of paint,
The image used to be clear, but years are never kind,
Your past is always playing present tricks on your mind,
Muffled noises slowly became voices,
Hovering over my body watching god’s miracle happen,
Life shot through my limbs,
They started asking me questions,
But I obviously couldn’t answer with my comprehension,
Being newborn status,
Classes wouldn’t start for a while,
I know I’m not the fastest thinker,
But I was quickly mobile,
at an early age, My chores started, just like everyone else,
My friends don’t speak much but at least they help,
When there is work to be done, one of three sons, I’ve always been special,
The others got boring names, but my parents called me vessel,
Middle name 1208 and I don’t complicate,
I keep busy and have no time to waste,
Careening with a social scene, or playing on sports teams,
But I understand what they always mean,
When teens aren’t supervised, they’ll kill each other,
I know firsthand from always watching over my brothers,
But tonight we celebrate the day that I was born,
Every year I wait by the window and listen for the horn,

3 hours late and usually I wouldn’t complain,
But their absence today is more than just a little strange,
Should I be suspicious? my record is flawless,
I’ve watched them sleep while my hands cropped the harvest,
This house is keeping secrets, and it’s got the worst timing,
So I’ll force these walls to tell me where my family is hiding,
Providing light for my search, flipped the switch in the kitchen,
The windows were open; something stirring caught my vision,
On the table next to a phone number I’ve never seen,
Scattered papers in a folder and a picture of me,
It was a title of ownership from 1978,
For a registered machine with the initials of my name,
And stapled to the title was a receipt for disposal,
With today’s date on it, and signature from the owners,
This can’t be right, I don’t understand what this means,
These papers say this machine is me?

I read all I could but most of the information was worthless,
Except, after 25 years your machine is out of service,
Lights in the driveway someone is at the door,
Let them come for me, there is nothing for me here anymore,

I spent my whole life thinking I was human,
They tricked me into thinking I was one of them,
So the chores would be done, the laundry picked up,
The house would be clean, I wanted self esteem,
I wanted respect in a race that was alien to me,
How could I feel alive and just be machinery
I’m angry at what they’ve done; my family is my life,
They’ve left me here by myself to sacrificed,
I’ll go to the roof and give them what they want,
If I’m so robotic then the pain was never real,
Just a program to bind man’s ways to my flesh,
Only after 25 years does it all made sense,
What kind of god leaves you tortured with free thought?
Keeps you alive for labor then recycles the spare parts,
They can have these limbs; return them to my parents,
Tell them vessel tried to find the truth under his skin
Three stories high, but one story over,
Metal hits the ground, brain smashes, closure,

never thought I was trapped, never needed escape,